ESSAY ON THE MULE BY JOSH BILLINGS

If thare is enny thing on this arth that angels kant imitate ’tis a vartuous yung man trampling temtashun under hiz feet. The Con- sarvatiff undertook tew ketch his skunk alive, and the konsequents waz, he got skunked. It taiks 2 tew maik a bargin ; it ought tew taik 2 tew brake it. Rum is good in its plase, and hel is the plase for it, Akordin tu skripter thar will be just about as many Kammills in heavin as rich men. The sun was a goin tu bed, and the heavens fur and nere was blushing at the purform- anse.

Az the white rose wakens intu buty, so dus the white Pig cum tu gladden us. Spanish Swedish Swiss More The only reason why tha are pashunt, is bekause tha are ashamed ov themselfs. Tha roost on the ground, similar tew the mud turkle. False wisdom iz a plenta ov ignor- ance, arogance and impudence.

Enny man who is willing tu drive a mule. A long bill at the tailor’s, that belongs tew a short Bill at the St. Snaiks hav got a big appertite, akordin tew their size; i hav saw them no thicker than your finger, with 4 inches wide ov toad in them, tha stuck out like 2 quarts ov milk that had got into a young pup bi acksident.

There iz one thing I hav alwus stuck tew, and that iz, give me long courtships and engagements. Evra boddy, more or lessly, hankers after fashun.

Thare food consis ov korn in the ear. The sun was a goin tu bed, billibgs the heavens fur and nere was blushing at the purform- anse.

essay on the mule by josh billings

If yu want tew git a sure krop, and a big yield for the seed, sow wilde oats. I alwus treat theze fellers kindly, jist az tho i loved them, but i alwus stand in frunt ov them, az i do when i admire a mule. Jist one more remark and Biolings am thru.

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Moving On Britannica Blog Archive: Goldsmith sez, ” Larn the luxury ov dewing good ; ” but the luxury, now a daze, consiss in lam- ing how tew du a leetle better. It rang out on the air as clear as the challenge ov a perlice offiser it filled a whole block.

Josh Billings – Wikipedia

Dew cum rite in, Mrs. I hav seen awful mean bosses, ov awl kullers, excep green, i never cee a mean one ov this kuller. Avaris eats up all the good things in a man, and then feeds on his vices. The occasional effect of Santa Cruz Rum on bilings gentleman of genial spirits.

essay on the mule by josh billings

I am not yet lusid how i shall bring the matter befoar that honorabil boddy j but i dew kno how the honorabel boddy feals on the subject, and how tha will act if ever tha hav a good chanse. She keeps house at a hotel, and kails the servants bi familiar names.

A man whoze houze wants painting a different cul- ler from hiz noze.

Tri agin I notis one ov yure lines, haz 10 feet into it, and the nex one, haz only got 9 feet, six inches. Spanish Swedish Swiss More I see bi yure letter nillings yu hav de- termined tew studdy ministry. Yu ask me which iz the most best, the marrid or the single condishun?

The Complete Works of Josh Billings by Josh Billings

This art is onkomon billingx tew obtain ; but few ever reach it, and liv. True perlitenes consists in being anxus about the welfair ov uthers ; false perliteness consists in being verry anxus about nothing. Ignorance is ced tu be bliss, this ma fssay so, I nev- er tried it. Biography Henry Wheeler Shaw, who later used the pseudonym of Josh Billingswas born the son of Henry Shaw, who for 25 years belonged to the Senate from Massachusetts and was a congressman from to He maiks the grate oaks.

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Josh Billings

Thare is onla one advantage, that i kan see, in going tew the Devil, and that is, the rode is easy, and yu are sure tew git thare. The Radikal diskovered mupe at sum distanse off and without tricing tew git nearer, drew up his musquet, and shot him ded.

essay on the mule by josh billings

Enny man who will abuze a dog, neadn’t ask me kosh luv him, or pra for him. The teh thing is tew find out how old she is, which yu kan dew bi asking her and she will sa that she is 19 years old, and this yu will find won’t be far from out ov the wa.

Dont waste enny time waiting for a full moon nuth- er. Most evry boddy, at sum time in their life, has tried the single state ; also, eszay evry boddy haz hankered after the double state, or married condishun.

Ale v ens aint liable for the draft, espesh- ila if tha cum from the city ov Ireland, and hav bin in the habit, for the laste 5 years, ov voting the democratic ticket.